ACE

[ballies]

(pirate noises)

Comments

[ballies]

[ the whole thing is just making her frown as well. like a frown circle.

conspiracy cults, a — well. not a basement, she knows what that place is and if it was the same for them then…

wow imagine if there was an awkwardly timed memshare right now… wow…. imagine… ]

[selfimmolation]

[ COOL THANKS HE'S JUST KIND OF CLUTCHING AT HIS HEAD BREATHING A LITTLE HEAVILY BECAUSE HIS GRIP ON REALITY IS ON AND OFF ALREADY ]

That was--... The guy. The place. But it went... It went different. Than that. But he wanted... He was saying the same thing. Kill or we blow up.

[ballies]

[ YOU’RE WELCOME ZIA.

anyway, she grabs his shoulders (somewhere uninjured?? boy help you’re so fucked up) and gives them a squeeze. ]

Hey. You’re here, he’s not. And he won’t be getting anywhere near here because he’s dead.

[ clinical and factual. she can’t condone the murder of tearer, but she can’t help but understand it too. ] Everyone you saw there from here is okay. [ IGNORES NICK ]

[selfimmolation]

[ it's been a very long two weeks!!! ]

... I know. I know they're fine. [ there is a pause because ] I don't care about that guy.

[ alive or dead he is not worried about him??? ]

[ballies]

[ no fuckin' kidding.

yeah, but-- ]

Yeah, I figured. But you're kinda freaking out, and knowing no asshole's going to be blowing up the room you're in can be surprisingly reassuring. [ ... mumbling: ] I swear, Naixtaloz is going to be a thorn in so many sides until someone figures out a way to get them all arrested and shut down.

[selfimmolation]

I'm not... freaking out. [ defensive while still covering the seeing part of his face. after a little bit, he-- ] I wasn't going to kill anyone for him, so I... I tackled him and he blew us up. And then the whole place collapsed.

[ballies]

[ she's not doing the "don't call me cute" loop again, especially not when he's definitely not freaking out a little. so she does not acknowledge. ]

...

[ she can wait though. but, y'know-- ]

You tackled him?! [ oh my god. ]

[selfimmolation]

[ ... he sort of winces. ]

And he blew us up. But I--it was Luffy. I couldn't...

[ he did not even consider going along with the kill thing. is the thing. ]

[ballies]

[ ... ]

... The man Tearer asked Ryuki to shoot is someone he loves very much. [ and she saw the aftermath of what happened and how it affected him, so-- this isn't the same ground she's trodden before, but she's seen this kind of guilt before. ] Even if he went through the motions, he wouldn't have shot him. Whether I'd spoken up or not. There's no way.

[ she gets it. sort of. not down to the specifics, but that he just couldn't shoot. ]

Tearer blew up the cathedral afterwards. I don't think anyone blamed him for what happened. Whether you hesitate or not, the pressure's on you and it's your choice.

[selfimmolation]

[ sorry he's taken out of his own angst a bit by; ]

The cath--were we in a church.

[ballies]

[ :amen: ]

If the place looked the same? Then yes.

Naixatloz is a cult. They have two cathedrals under their Tokyo offices.

[selfimmolation]

...

[ there's such a long silence ]

Why. [ anyway. ] It blew up. And then everyone was injured. And the place collapsed.

[ the end. ]

[ballies]

[ just waves her hand. ]

Cult. Nothing about them is sane.

...

Yeah. It blew up. Everyone was injured. [ ... ]

And everyone survived. Injured, life changing in some ways. But everyone back home survived. If it was mimicking what Ryuki and I know that closely, then...

[selfimmolation]

... They didn't.

[ he looks at his hands which are like. fucked up. like when you claw desperately at some rocks, say. ]

Lillium's friend and Luffy were trapped under rubble. I couldn't... we couldn't get them out. And they couldn't move the others ones without me before it collapsed. But I...

[ there's a long pause ]

He's my brother.

[ballies]

[ NOT MY IRIS AAAAAAAAAA. ]

...

[ she could tell him that happened to one of the group, but they still survived. it took years, and did a number on people's mental health with them being gone, but they survived.

but.


how is telling that story going to help? ]

...

What they do in those places isn't real. But it feels like it is, even down to the more mundane things. [ so. she's careful about where she touches, as his hands are a mess apparently?? :( but she gives one of his hands a small squeeze. ]

I'm sorry.

[selfimmolation]

[ kind of looking at their joined hands blankly ]

... It wasn't. I know it wasn't, but I...

[ it felt real. it still sort of feels real. ]

[ballies]

[ squeezes them. ace your termite brain. ]

But it feels like it was. And that messes with you.

[selfimmolation]

... Yeah.

[ he doesn't know what else to say to that ]

[ballies]

[ she sighs. ]

... I don't know if it will get better. It'll take time, either way.

[ stares at zia through the internet, directly. ]

[selfimmolation]

... It's fine. I know it wasn't real. I just... need to remember.

[ too bad his brain is swiss cheese ]

[ballies]

... Take your time. Trying to force everything back won't help -- sometimes it can make it harder to remember if you're forcing it.

[ wow! just like canon. ]

[selfimmolation]

... I'd rather forget about all of that.

[ballies]

[ he JUST said. ]

Then don't focus on it. If it comes back, it comes back. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Either way, you'll work through it.

[selfimmolation]

... Yeah. I guess so.

[ballies]

[ me, determined to keep these threads going so you have to keep tagging me dammit. ]

Have you at least seen Will, or had a remedy shoved at you yet? I don't know if that will help, but it might be worth trying.